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After a three-year sabbatical in search of the legendary Fountain of Liquor, Mr. Arthur Bietz has returned to his life-long mission to bring truth to the mouthbreathing heretics of idolatry and foolishness. Alongside his dedicated cult of followers, Mr. Bietz vows to ensure that no amount of media manipulation can obscure the real truth of the AFC North.

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A Note from the Publisher

In my time following the world of professional football, it has always been the little stories that have intrigued me. The touching stories... the moving stories... the stories that no one else follows. The stories about David Modell's Senatorial ambitions, Bill Cowher's amazing ability to spew spittle across an acre of land, and Mike Brown's incredible thrift.

Specifically, I love those stories which prove a pet theory of mine:

Every team in the AFC North other than the Cleveland Browns is owned and operated by legally insane goofballs who have fooled a statistically insignificant and easily confused portion of the population into becoming "fans" of their teams.

The people operating these teams are psychotic, mentally deficient, and quite possibly dangerous to themselves and others. Their fans are pathetic and deluded. Their activities are harmful to the general public and must be exposed, suitably documented, and then stopped.

A brief tour through the AFC North is all that most intelligent people would need to prove this theory. Most rational men and women start vigorously nodding their heads in agreement with me like a bobbing head doll uncomfortably near the epicenter when Casey Hampton is running for the dinner table.

Yet, because some "doubting Thomases" fail to comprehend the obvious, it is important for us to report to you, the pro football fan, on the events about the AFC North. Because we will help lead the reluctant to the difficult truth, we have titled this fine publication the "AFC North TruthCenter".

Sincerely,
Arthur B. Bietz


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