I really have no idea what to write about for
this first post, but I've got not problem with winging it. Since this
is my first post and I'm really just trying this out, I decided to post
about some random thing that I thought about just now. Chances are
it'll change to other subjects, such as how much turtlenecks suck, and
how Dilbert should be the next president.
But for now I feel obligated to clean up a certain mess. It has come to
my attention (translated: I made it up), that Artbtz is kind of known
as this site's equivalent of God. Now I can't stand by and let this
misconception live on. At best, he his God's younger brother
Steve. Steve is a tough luck guy who doesn't know which way's up. His
parents always loved God better, God always got the hot angel babes,
and God was better at sports and more popular. He hated living in God's
shadow, so he took over a nut-job named L. Ron Hubbard and founded
Scientology, which worships hooded sweatshirts and lesser known
characters from Star Trek. Of course, Steve's religion is failing and
has gotten to the point where they'll accept bad actors like Tom Cruise
as their Messiah. That's Artbtz. Except Steve isn't bald.
This scandal, in my mind, is second only to the lies of the "Coke Zero"
ad agency, who's fork-tongued executives blatantly lied to the public
about the number of calories contained in Coke Zero. In fact, it
contains .3 to .5 calories per 3.4 fl. oz. (Thank you wikipedia),
meaning a whopping 3 calories
per 20 fl. oz. I for one will not stand for this. That 3 calories isn't
going to come off by itself. It's all a scam with the makers of BoFlex
to get you to burn off those surprise calories.
I hope all of you realize what a terrible mistake you have made about
Artbtz, and it is not too late to atone.
With that, BaronVonAwesome ends his first post in his mighty blog. I know it's short, sue me.
*Note:
In no way was this post intended to offend the Coke ad agency.I'm sure
they and their families are perfectly fine, normal people despite the
fact that they are black-hearted monsters.
**Double-Asterisked Note: Thank you to the 3 people who read this.
***Triple-Asterisked Note: Feel free to comment on how bad this is.