Not only was Rip Scherer a rumored candidate for the offensive coordinator position at UCLA, he actually interviewed for the job, The OBR has learned. As reported here yesterday, Scherer removed his name from consideration and will remain in Cleveland.
It's believed that Scherer would have taken the job if it were to have been offered; however, the firing of Titans OC Norm Chow, another candidate for the UCLA job, was likely the impetus that made Scherer conclude that he would not get the slot on Bruins head coach Rick Neuheisel's staff.
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For those keeping score at home, Jason Garrett makes three the number of "hot" assistants who flipped the middle finger to, and dropped trou at, The Land of Needles and STDs, opting instead to stay put as assistant coaches.
You can almost hear his thought process now...
"OK, now, on the one hand, I can stay in Dallas, make more money than the current head coach, and eventually take over the head-coaching position of a quality, top-notch organization. Or, on the other hand, I could go to Baltimore, coach a team full of thugs, felons and me-first types, all the while fending off a raging groinal rash. What should I do? What should I do? Oh, the exasperating humanity of this decision!"
Garrett joins Cleveland's Rob Chudzinski and new England's Josh McDaniels as persons this off-season who told the Ravens to STFU.
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When it's all said and done, don't be surprised if the man on the sidelines for the Ravens come September is none other than Marty Schottenheimer. The former Browns head coach is at the top of Ozzie Newsome's list, and, now that owner Steve Bisciotti's preference is out of the picture, Martyball could indeed be coming to Baltimore.
Main Entry: vomit
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: eject
Synonyms: barf, be seasick*, be sick, belch, bring up*, disgorge, dry heave*, emit, expel, gag*, heave*, hurl*, keck, lose it, puke*, regurgitate, retch, ruminate, spew, spit up, throw up, upchuck
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Speaking of retching and bile...
Yes, I am an American Idol fan. Huge, in fact. It's my dirty little secret, known only to a precious few.
To quote Faith's hubby, I like it. I love it. Dammit, I want some more of it.
Some people experiment with recreational drug usage. Some people poke sharp objects into their eyes, ears or other bodily orifices. Some even enjoy a swift kick to the nads.
For me, none of those can top watching Simon eviscerate the non-British or the homely, or Randy gaining two pounds between commercial breaks, or being able to hear Ryan through his closet, or Paula moistening and ovulating the nanosecond a hot dude walks through the audition doors.
With that in mind, allow me to handicap the seventh season of Idol thus far, just two episodes in:
- Smokin' Hot Chick From Episode One: Even
- Smokin' Hot Chick #2 From Episode Two: 2-1
- Smokin' Hot Chick #1 From Episode Two: 4-1
- Dude My Better Half Thinks Is "Pretty": 8-1
- The Field: 10-1
- Odds I Continue Watching Because Of The First Three: Off the board
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It's only 17 days into the new year, but we have a leader in the clubhouse for "Father of the Year" honors. Matthew Kowald of Portage, Wisconsin, was charged yesterday with disorderly conduct after taping a Green Bay Packers jersey to his seven-year-old son.
Apparently, the little bastard refused to wear the jersey during the Packers' playoff win over the Seahawks this past Saturday. So, doing what any responsible parent and hardcore fan would do, the "FOTY" candidate grabbed a role of tape and affixed the clothing to the snot-nosed, disrespectful brat.
Like my father always told me, there are three essentials to good parenting. Love. Patience. And a shelf full of duct tape.
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Public service announcement: 30 days and counting until Dale Jr. wins the 50th running of The Great American Race.