Thank you Roger Goodell! I wish you have been around six years ago to take care of Stabbin Killaman, but better late than never, I guess.
It's important that those of us with the monumental responsibility of blogging don't overstate the case to rid of guys like Adam Jones. I want to be careful, for example, that I don't reference the state of Pac-Man's hair, which looks clean and well-kept, and not nappy at all.
Am I allowed to call Adam Jones "garbage", though? Is that alright? Because he is.
The time is long overdue to slap down the element of the NFL, of professional sports, of celebrity which considers itself about the law and somehow different than mere mortals such as ourselves.
For every Ben Roethlisbonehead who learns painfully that there is no difference between his mortality and that of normal humans, there is an OJ Simpson or Ray Lewis - or Art Modell - who skates away without paying the true price for their behavior. Sure, they pay a price, but not the same ones that you or I would pay.
Nuking Adam Jones for this year, and Chris Henry for most of it is a start. Just a start. Roger Goodell is no Kennesaw Mountain Landis, but at least there's the semblance of a line in the sand.
More intriguing is the notion that teams may be held responsible for the behavior of their players (cue Marvin Lewis diving under a desk and shivering in fear). The term "draft picks" has come up, and considering that all of those are made of gold, teams will pay attention.
On Pac-Man, while I contend that he is, as mentioned above, "garbage", it's important to stay open-minded with respect to his point of view.
After all, the problem may be mine. I might be too stupid to get Pac-Man's inherent Pacness or really soak up his blood-stained appeal.
I'll admit that I simply don't comprehend Adam "Pac-Man" Jones. I don't know why they call him Pac-Man, and don't care. I don't know why he took a bunch of money and started throwing it around on useless crap. I don't know why he felt the need to hang out in Vegas.
I sure as hell don't know what is going on in the "Birthday Blowout" flyer on the left.
I have no clue what a collard shirt is, but it undoubtedly involves a type of cabbage grown down in the south, which is a slang term for money. I'm pretty sure that the "money snows" is a reference to that really neat song from about fifteen years ago. A licky boom-boom down, indeed.
I'm just at a total loss about "Fresh kicks". It's like trying to decipher ancient Sanskrit.
I guess what I'm saying here is fuck Adam Pac-Man Jones and his Moon-Man language, to hell with Ray Lewis and his ilk, and up with Roger Goodell. I'm hip to that wildman, ya dig?