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Doosh Dawg Blog

Unrepentant douchbaggery straight from the heart of the Midwest. Steelers suck.

The King Drives Faster Than You

http://clevelandsports.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lebron-james.jpg

Speed: 65 MPH

Life is good. I'm 23-years-old and the entire world is mine. This ride is awesome... I remember when I was in school and my uncle said I would have a ride like this someday. Just smell this fucking car. It's like they have that new car smell built right in, like one of those pine tree things that hang off your rear-view mirror. You can't even hear the road in here. It's like flying in the fucking Starship Enterprise. I'm Captain Lebron King and I'll go to whatever planet I fucking want. Cruisin. Smooth.

Speed: 65 MPH

I bet that they're showing that Iron Chef again on cable. What does that Japanese guy do, anyway? He just stands around and yells sometimes. I love that guy. I bet that's on at 3AM again. They show that thing every three hours or so.  The King can watch that before the King sleeps. Better get home faster.

Speed: 68 MPH

Andy is a dope. Thinks somehow the team couldn't do anything without him? Dumbass. Look at the box score where it says team leaders. Points: L James. Rebounds: L James. Assists: L James. Steals: L. James. EveryFuckingThing: L James. If I'm not on top of my game we lose to the Knicks. I need to work on my shot more. We need more King, less bricks. Screw Food Network. I need to get some sleep and get back to work.

Speed: 75 MPH

What's does that bald white guy do? Wasn't he supposed to get me someone else who can ball a little? I think he mostly goes to lunch. He likes lunch. You know, if I can play the full 48 every night, then there's more King, less crap. I like that... 48 of King. Need to get home, sleep, get back up, hit the court, like now.

Speed: 78 MPH

Oh shit. Larry Hughes. Larry fucking Hughes. Motherfucker.

Speed: 101 MPH

Published Jan 14 2008, 10:06 AM by DooshbagDawg
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