The Plain Dealer is presented on web site "Cleveland Live" in world-famous Click-o-Vision, where each article is chopped up into six or seven paragraph mini-fragments so that users have to click more pages (and therefore see more ads) than if the article was presented in a single page.
With that in mind, here's "Cleveland Plain Dealer columnist Bill Livingston discusses sports sponsors" in 74 words:
Sponsors have put their names on everything in sports, like the stadium where the Cleveland Indians play baseball. Maybe I should have sponsors for my articles like "Macys" or, perhaps, if it's a negative column, I could be sponsored by the NRA. I could let sponsors name parts of my columns, like the beginning or end. I hope the absurdity of this notion has helped you see how absurd all these sports sponsorships are.
[Plain Dealer]