OBR News-o-rama

March 2007 - Posts

• From the Vault: RantToons

  I probably should have kept doing these. Now I can't even find the site where I could make them. Oh well.   There was some game in Crackmore where fans cheered after an official got hurt. This seemed appropriate.   Posted Mar 27 2007, 07:26 AM by ArtBietz with 5 comment(s)

• Mansfield News-Journal: Best Newspaper, Ever

  The OBR got a little love in this morning's Mansfield News-Journal, which is now at the top of my list of all-time great newspapers. I think I may move about an hour south, just so I can subscribe. Here's what columnist Jason Kline had to say about last week's "internet rumor" regarding Kellen Winslow and the reaction of the team and media: "On Monday, ProFootballTalk.com reported on its must-read Rumor Mill that the team isn't counting on Winslow for 2007. Everybody from General Manager Phil Savage to the self-proclaimed "Chosen One" himself spent the next few days refuting the reports. The speculation knows only one end -- Week 1. Until then, fans and media alike don't know who to trust. One measurement of the maelstrom's intensity is this: Savage, a noted draftaholic even among GMs, took time out of his travels, film study and other preparations to go on the team's flagship radio station, WTAM-1100, and downplay the "Internet rumor" (a phrase still shorn with obvious scorn by media and front office types alike). Who do you believe? Though I'm a big fan of PFT and the work of Rumor Mill Editor Mike Florio, he doesn't get much respect over at Scout.com, home to the Orange and Brown Report and the hardest working insiders and correspondents. You can have ESPN.com, SI.com and FoxSports.com, none of which are reliable as the OBR." Mr. Kline is clearly an extremely bright individual, and obviously a columnist to watch. As this quote proves, his insight is laser-sharp, compared to the dim bulbs scattered around elsewhere. The definition of dim bulb, of course, is "anyone who doesn't write great stuff like this". Seriously, Jason, thanks for the kind words. Posted Mar 25 2007, 09:36 AM by ArtBietz with 2 comment(s)

• Saturday Newswire Fun

  The newswire is boring as hell. It's not our fault, we're out there surfing and trying to find some interesting stuff, but finding mostly lameness. It's making me cranky. Here's what's turned up in the last 24 hours or so: Friday afternoon, the Texans dumped David Carr on the street after a few years of getting sacked at a Couchian rate. "Thanks for the service, Dave", Texans GM Rick Smith essentially said, "and sorry for getting smashed into component molecules and all. Best of luck!". One year, you're on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Five year's later, it's off to the glue factory. Or Oakland (shudder). Yesterday, Steve Doerschuk listened in as Phil Savage continued pimp-slapping the Winslow is history rumor into oblivion, saying K2 "should be good to go in June or July". Usually when the news is bad or the team has even a smidgeon of doubt, what you get from Berea is a deafening silence, so they seem to be pretty confident about this one. Props to Steve D for enduring Mike Trivasanno's usual crumb-spewing idiocy to bring us back what Savage said. If you let Mike Trivassano huff and puff about bad journalism, well, that's just piling on. Man, that's gotta suck, having that tard poke at your stories. Ugh. Meanwhile, Len Pasquarelli got the memo from ESPN management that the Browns hadn't been abused enough recently, so the Bristolean ragged on the Browns using Denver as a proxy. Nice twist on the recurring Boston uber alles schtick, Lenny. If you're looking for insight here, you're probably not going to find it, other than to know that defensive linemen we cut weren't all that great and that Courtney Brown was "star-crossed". Pasquarelli calls Brown "classy yet fragile-as-a-Ming-vase". What I want to know is how Pasquarelli would have any freaking idea of whether CB was "classy" or just an introverted guy who didn't want to have anything to do with the media? Pasquarelli visits Cleveland one day a year, where he's feted like a king, and never had to put up with Brown dodging the press. Let me point this out: Being introverted isn't "classy". Total asshats can be quiet too, which just makes them quiet asshats. I know a lot about this sort of thing. I guess that guy sitting alone mumbling to himself in the corner booth at McDonalds is the classiest of all, because you never see him quoted in the papers, either. Any more revelations and my brain would explode. Meh. Go back to building your long-awaited life-size statue of Bill Belichick made out of wadded up bread and mashed potatoes, Lenny. Oddly, I was listening to ESPN radio (briefly) for a bit yesterday, and they had Peter Gammons on talking about the Red Sox. Who'da thunk it? If I get the free time, I'll surf to that wacky "Page 2" and read the former "Boston Sports Guy", Bill Simmons. Meh squared. Elsewhere, Brady Quinn endures people messing with his hair and telling him he looks faaaaabulous. If the Browns draft him, you'll be able to read a forthcoming ESPN piece on the crazy antics as Super Brady tries to fit into "blue-collar" Cleveland. Super meh. So, to summarize: ESPN sucks, there isn't anything to read that's all that great, and Pro Football Talk was wrong again. Listen to me, mainstream media types: Get cranking. I don't care if there's no news coming out of Berea. I want my FREE READING MATERIAL and I WANT IT NOW and I want it INSIGHTFUL and AMUSING. How much do I pay you people, anyway? Get back to work, dammit. Posted Mar 24 2007, 11:57 AM by ArtBietz with no comments

• We're Twits

  Apparently, this thing called "Twitter" is all the rage among the nerd set these days. Being a nerd, of course, and Twitter being free, I had to check it out. Having checked it out, it seemed like something that would be pretty cool to have on the site. It's a way to share short updates (140 characters or less) with folks. Sort of like a mini-blog or something like that. Lots of people use it to share info with their friends about what they're up to. It seemed like something we could use here on the OBR to provide short little updates about stuff on the site (e.g., "Updated the depth chart", "Give the webmaster a beer", etc). What it could be real cool for are quick updates from the sidelines in training camp like I used to do via customized system a couple of years ago. Anyhow, our Twitter feed is http://www.twitter.com/theOBR, and I've got it integrated with the OBR front page now. We'll see if we can keep it updated... it's pretty easy... but it was something I had to try. Both JT and I are slamming updates into there, and I'll try to show Fred how to use it when mini-camps start up. Posted Mar 21 2007, 10:25 AM by ArtBietz with 1 comment(s)

• Lennie Friedman Signs a Deal

  Here's the press release from the Browns: CLEVELAND BROWNS SIGN OL LENNIE FRIEDMAN TO ONE-YEAR CONTRACT The Cleveland Browns have signed OL Lennie Friedman to a one-year contract, the club announced today.  Friedman provided depth along the offensive line at both the center and guard positions last season as he appeared in all 16 regular season games, including two starts. Friedman, 6-3 and 295 lbs., was acquired on Aug. 24, 2006 in a trade with Chicago only 17 days prior to the start of the regular season.  Friedman started one game at left guard (at Baltimore on Dec. 17) and one game at right guard (at Houston on Dec. 31) and was a key contributor on special teams. Friedman is an eight-year veteran, who has appeared in 81 games, including 34 starts, during his career with Denver, Washington, Chicago and Cleveland.  Friedman was originally drafted by Denver in the second round, 61st overall, in the 1999 NFL Draft out of Duke. Posted Mar 20 2007, 04:15 PM by ArtBietz with no comments

• MuniWire: Tuesday in the Land of Blah

  March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb, goes that lame old saying, but that seems to apply to NFL news as well. If you're not tracking the latest incidents of Bungles and ex-Steelers acting like idiots, then things are pretty dull except for idle speculation and the typical stupid and baseless rumors. ProFootballTalk.com isn't around to make a mountain out of mundane microfracture molehill today, so we have to turn our attention to actual news, written by actual sportswriters. Our pal Scott Petrak, who hangs out with us in the OBR chat room sometimes, offers the only real meaty analysis today, discussing how Phil Savage's free agent acquisitions give him some more options in the draft. What I like about the free agent acquisitions as well, as that they don't do anything to reduce the mystery about what the Browns will do, meaning that the trade value of the team's #3 pick isn't diminished. But that's just me, and I'm an idiot, albeit one with good taste in beer. There's also a news item about the NY Giants agreeing to an offer sheet with FB Vonta Leach on Monday. We reported on this on both the OBR and Munilot side of things last week. Not sure if non-OBR-types even knew he was in town. He was. His agent did a good job of trumping up interest in him, saying Baltimore was, for example. keenly interested, when they really weren't, according to our sources. Anyhow, Leach will try to lead the way for Reuben Droughns, so that Droughns can not follow him next year, instead of not following Terrelle Smith. Then again, Mo should have given Reuben better directions than "follow the short wide guy". There's some idle speculation on the corporate AOL Sports pseudo-blog as well about the Browns trading up for JaMarcus Russell. That's great. Whatever. Also, word is that current Plain Dealer gossip writers make catty remarks about the old ones. As soon as any of them say interesting worthwhile, send me an email. That's all we could find surfing around today. If you found something more interesting, feel free to send us a link and we'll slam it on the newswire. Posted Mar 20 2007, 02:05 PM by ArtBietz with no comments

• The Muni Lot, She is Free of Login Hell!

  If you have had the misfortune of wandering into the Muni Lot on Saturday evening, you will have witnessed a variety of web errors, license agreements, and other fascinating flotsam and jetsam of the website mangling process. This was all caused by changes to the login system we made this evening. The purpose of this was to disconnect the MuniLot's login system from Scout's user id and password system. You now have to log in to the Muni Lot seperately of the OBR. Since a large number of profiles have already been created, you may simply be using the same username and password you use on the OBR. If not, click the "Join" link in the upper right to create a new Muni Lot profile and user name. The original purpose of the "single sign on" was to save time, but it wasn't possible to coordinate the Scout and Muni Lot membership systems without creating a lot of problems both due to bugs and the difficulty in synchronizing the two systems. So, tonight, we split the two, which should result in a system that's simpler than the mysterious automatic login that you had before. We've taken another step in ramping the Muni Lot up to the massive fan-driven site that it will ultimately be. Also, all ads were removed on the Muni Lot this evening. Posted Mar 17 2007, 11:21 PM by ArtBietz with 9 comment(s)

• Shaun Smith Officially Signed (Officially)

  See, we've got an official press release. No unofficial stuff here on the Muni Lot side of things. No freakin' way. BROWNS SIGN DEFENSIVE TACKLE SHAUN SMITH TO A FOUR-YEAR CONTRACT Three-year restricted free agent has totaled 74 tackles in 34 career games The Cleveland Browns have signed defensive tackle Shaun Smith to a four-year contract, the club announced today. Smith played in 13 games with the Cincinnati Bengals last season and totaled 14 tackles and one pass defensed. Smith, 6-2 and 325 lbs., has played in 34 career games, including seven starts, during his NFL career with New Orleans and Cincinnati. In 2005 with Cincinnati, Smith had his most productive season when he started 13 games, including five starts, and finished with 38 tackles, including 21 solo, and also appeared in one postseason contest. “We're happy about adding Shaun Smith to our defensive line,” said Browns Senior Vice President and General Manager, Phil Savage. “We feel he is a player with upside who can help us improve our run defense.” A native of Brooklyn, N.Y., Smith joined the NFL as an undrafted rookie free agent out of South Carolina. Posted Mar 16 2007, 04:55 PM by ArtBietz with no comments

• Bungles Won't Match Shaun Smith

  Here's what ex-sportswriter Geoff Hobson says: http://www.bengals.com/news/news.asp?story_id=5935 In a move that surprised no one Friday, the Bengals chose not to match an offer sheet for backup defensive tackle Shaun Smith and appear to plan replacing him with a combination of veterans and most likely a draft pick. He played in 13 games last season. Although he was active enough when he was in there with 14 tackles and a pass defensed in limited snaps, the coaches decided not to play him in the last three games of his second full season with the Bengals. “We wish Shaun well with his new opportunity,” said Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis. “For our offseason and future planning, we have chosen to allocate our cap resources in a different direction.” The deal is believed to be worth more than $8 million over four years. Posted Mar 16 2007, 12:45 PM by ArtBietz with no comments

• Robaire Smith Signing Official Now

  Told ya. The Browns just announced the signing of ex-Titans and Texans defensive lineman Robaire Smith to a contract. This is a critical move for the Browns because it brings the number of Smiths up to four. In addition to Robaire, the Browns have Alvin, Clifton, and Sweaty Rob. The team still finds itself without a Johnson, however, which is pretty embarrassing in today's NFL. Look at the Bengals... they've always had a Johnson, and with their star wide receiver, they probably have the biggest Johnson of anyone. Well, actually, the Chiefs might have a bigger Johnson, at least that's what I've heard talking to NFL insiders. Anyhow, here's the press release we just got from the Browns:   BROWNS SIGN DEFENSIVE LINEMAN ROBAIRE SMITH TO A FOUR-YEAR DEAL The Cleveland Browns signed veteran defensive lineman Robaire Smith to a four-year contract, the club announced today. Smith, a seven-year veteran, played in 15 games, including 12 starts at defensive tackle, and logged 76 tackles with the Tennessee Titans last season. A versatile defensive lineman, Smith has played both defensive tackle and defensive end during his career.  In 97 career games with Tennessee and Houston, Smith has totaled 446 tackles, 17 sacks, 15 passes defensed, two forced fumbles and three recovered fumbles. Smith began his career with Tennessee as a sixth-round draft choice out of Michigan State in 2000.  After four seasons with Tennessee, Smith signed with the Houston Texans via free agency and set career-highs with 100 tackles in 2004 and 102 tackles in 2005. Smith, 6-4 and 314 lbs., played collegiate football at Michigan State and was originally drafted by Tennessee in the sixth round, 197th overall in the 2000 NFL Draft. Posted Mar 16 2007, 11:10 AM by ArtBietz with no comments

• Here's a MuniLot.com Scoop, Old-Schoolers

  If I remember, that BTNG thing that existed before Kosar and McBride got hold of my web site used to break news as well make various snarky remarks about our social betters. Might as well continue that sorta thing.Here's some news smuggled out of OBR headquarters into the Muni Lot. Two days ago, the Browns dumped Terrelle Smith into the Waste Management bin outside Berea, narrowly missing an OBR reporter diving through it for unshredded memos, and Mike Shanahan panning for defensive linemen. As such, it marked the ascendance of the Age of Vickers, right? Maybe not. Well, probably. But maybe not. Turns out that the Browns had another fullback in for a not-so-publicized visit on Thursday, a former Packer/Saint/Texan by the name of Vonta Leach. Leach is 6'0", 250 and heading into his fourth year out of East Carolina (home of former Brown great Richard Alston). He has yet to carry a ball in his NFL career - how Terrelle-esque - but has caught eleven passes (almost Vickersarian). There you go. Actual news. Betcha didn't think I could do that anymore, eh? Posted Mar 15 2007, 11:58 PM by ArtBietz with 5 comment(s)

• Buy This Book, or You Suck

  Have you ever thought to yourself: "I suck"? Happens to me all the time, or it did, until I discovered the quick, easy, way to stop sucking, which is to obtain ownership of Steve Buffum's "The B-List". Let me explain via a mostly-true story. Three days ago I picked up my son from school - apparently fire-bombing the principal's office is a "no-no" these days, and a good way to lose bus priviledges - and the teenaged beast from hell was carrying with him a well-worn, tattered copy of some sort of blue-and-red looking book. "They don't let you carry that thing around, do they?", I asked, assuming he was carrying some sort of firearms manual or punk rock manifesto. He went on to tell me that he wanted to know where I got "my book" that he was reading, because he already knew three people who wanted a copy. Instinctly knowing that he lifted yet another personal possession of mine without asking, I lovingly cuffed him upside the head with a pipe wrench, and politely inquired which book had been purloined. "This one", he said, showing me a copy of Steve Buffum's "B-List 2006". "Listen to this", he said, and started reading: "And it wasn't the most annoying in the division, because the White Sox were Evil. In fact, consider the top four back-end relievers for the White Sox. Here is a typical day in the life of Neal Cotts: upon waking up in the morning, Cotts would jump into his baby seal oil powered car at 5 AM and rev its two-stroke engine for ten minutes to maximize the number of neighbors disturbed and the amount of foul-smelling smoke into the air. He would then speed ruthlessly through neighborhoods to the local Starbucks, where he would buy the largest, hottest coffee he could, pay with counterfeit money, and then toss the scalding hot coffee at homeless people on his way to the animal shelter. After picking out the very cutest puppy and kitten from the litter, he would take them home and pan-fry them for breakfast. He would then roto-till the neighbors ' yards with ground road salt, superglue the elementary school' s doors shut, drive back to Starbucks, pretend to have spilled the coffee, get a free refill, and scald the local safety patrol volunteers near the middle school. After a brisk game of Ground Glass Roulette with his children 's breakfasts, he would ..." What a breath of fresh air. Finally, I had found a baseball writer I could relate to, a person who could make even a moribund Indians season crackle with excitement and pierce the fog of media blather to get to the real truth. And the truth is, as long as I live in a world that has Neal Cotts in it, I know that I suck far less on a relative level. Any evil that I could be accused of is a paltry dot in a dusty corner of the universe compared to Neal Cotts. Hence, compared to Neal Cotts at least, I no longer suck. After discovering this life-giving truth, I read the remainder of Steve's book, a shining example of fan journalism that deserves to be read start-to-finish in book form. It's hilarious, perceptive, and a worthwhile trip. No BS. If you are a Tribe fan, or just a fan of Cleveland sports, you want this freaking book. Save yourself from a life of self-loathing and perceived sucking. Buy BUY THE B-LIST 2006 BY EMAILING STEVE. Do it now. There are less than two dozen copies remaining (no joke), so buy today, or else. TO ORDER, CLICK HERE. OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY, OR WILL EVENTUALLY LOOK AT YOUR EMAIL Posted Mar 15 2007, 04:56 PM by ArtBietz with 2 comment(s)

• Browns Hire Rich White Guy

  The Cleveland Browns have long been frontrunners in the cause of advancing diversity on the field, but this time the team has made a startling move off-the-field by hiring old rich white guy, Robert Kain, to serve in a key capacity in the front office, specifically as the team's Vice Chairman. Kain, who previously served as the co-CEO of IMG, a talent exploitation agency, also serves on the board of Aston Villa, which is owned by Randy Lerner, who also owns the Cleveland Browns, which in turn owns some of the product sold by IMG. It's part of the Great Circle of Cash. In addition to their relationships on Lerner's two professional franchises, both men are members of Skull and Bones, the Tri-Lateral Commission, and the National Association for the Advancement of Rich Old White Guys. The move increases the stability of the Browns organization which, on days that no NFL owners are in town, occasionally finds itself without any rich old white guys to do rich old white guy things. The organization peaked in the early expansion years, when the constant presence of Carmen Policy kept it at a high level of rich, creamy old-white-guy-ness. Here is the team's press release announcing the move. Please note that I provide certified, official news, which comes straight from the Cleveland Browns in the form of press releases. This is in direct opposition to the rumor, articles, and "opinion" crap you get on the OBR side. Pre-certified. News. CLEVELAND BROWNS NAME BOB KAIN VICE CHAIRMAN The Cleveland Browns have appointed former IMG CEO Bob Kain Vice Chairman. The recently retired sports executive will advise the organization in all facets of the club’s business including sales, corporate sponsorship, marketing and communications. “My professional relationship with Bob has evolved over the last several years and he has been a valuable resource to me and our organization,” said Browns Owner Randy Lerner. “I believe a more formal role of Vice Chairman will strengthen his commitment to our business and allow him to have a flexible schedule to do philanthropic work and spend time with his family while also staying immersed in professional sports. His role will in no way change or reduce my personal role nor will it change or modify any of the jobs that are currently being held.” Kain has lived and worked in Cleveland for over 30 years in the sports business with IMG, ultimately becoming CEO and retiring this past fall (2006).  Among the many roles he has in Cleveland, Kain serves as Chairman of the Greater Cleveland Sports Commission. Posted Mar 14 2007, 07:50 PM by ArtBietz with 4 comment(s)