Look, it's not as if I don't appreciate what you're trying to do here. I get it, and admire your initiative.
Unfortunately, you have no clue what you're doing.
You got off to such a great start, too. Hiring Marty Schottenheimer was a masterstroke, a veritable guarantee of regular-season success and playoff disaster. Sure enough, Marty took you to the promised land last year.
Driving the Chargers to a 14-2 record and then losing at home... brilliant.
How did you build on that success? Norv frickin' Turner? Are you kidding me? He can lose a playoff game, yes, but he has no sense of style.
At this rate, there is absolutely no way you're going to be able to join our ranks and enjoy that omnipresent, decades-long sense of doom that hovers around every Browns fan. Unless you up your game, and fast, you might not even get up to Bills-fan level of merciless self-loathing.
As old hands at this, though, let us help you find your way.
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