Now that the log-in is all fixed (Barry is synonymous with awesome, it's been researched and verified by actual Scientists) and we’re no longer anonymous Nulls, the 1st Annual Mock Amuck Contest can begin!
I must admit, this time of year never fails to amaze me. Some of the most incredibly ludicrous draft scenarios are spun in an anxious, anticipatory boredom during this lull.
Occasionally I find myself leaning towards them, agreeing, guilty of what Ren Hoek & Stimpleton J. Cat coined as ‘Space Madness’.
“Maybe a triple trade down would feasibly work, that would be soooo many draft picks…oh how I love draft picks…..NO, NO STOP IT! SNAP OUT OF IT MAN! EEGADS!"
Hey, it happens to the best of us.
Sure, the Tribe, Lebron & Bucks B-Ball may ease your mind, but admit it you’re a Browns fan first. No matter what you do that #3 spot is always there in the back of your brain, like that little old lady from Poltergeist, creeping you the hell out.
If you suffer from similar symptoms, I offer a temporary release from your Madness.
Here we go, it’s fairly simple.
THE CONTEST
Write a draft scenario for the Browns first 2 picks (or 3, your choice) and that’s it! Pick your draftee and write a small blurb on why you chose that person. Easy!
The difference between this Mock Amuck Draft and a regular Mock Draft, is you can pick anyone in the history of the world that ever existed, real or fiction, EXCEPT SOMEONE FROM THIS DRAFT CLASS. No AD, no Thomas, No Quinn, no one from the 2007 draft or you will be disqualified.
Example: you could pick, say, Jim Brown the greatest running back ever, with the first pick. Which is very, very obvious and not really that creative at all.
Or, you could pick Abe Lincoln. Or Prince Adams, Master of the Universe with the first pick. He’s the most powerful man in the Universe, 6’5’’ with incredible mobility and speed/ has a sword wielding rocket-arm. Plus, his sister is really hot which could help the fan morale.
I will be judging the contest and giving away a prize(s) for best, most creative submission and PMing the winner(s).
I’m not sure if I’ll do a 1st 2nd 3rd place type of thing, depending on how many folks actually enter and how broke I am.
In case of a tie breaker, my old Kosar Jersey will be the deciding judge. (Yes, I have conversations with my #19 jersey, so what?)
Your chances of winning are pretty high, so get to it and good luck. If you have questions see the FAQ section below, or leave me a message and as always, GO BROWNS!
FAQ
“When does the contest end?”
Sunday April 15th, 12:59:19 pm
“How many times can I enter.”
One time. So make it good
"What's the prize if I win?"
I'm not sure yet, depends on how much I blow at the bar this month. Rest assured, it will be cool and "Brownsy".
"If I win, will you use the personal info I give to stalk me?"
Most likely
“I’m not creative, what should I do?”
Go to the store, buy a 6-pack of Coors Banquet Tall Boys, drink them all REAL quick like, relax, aaaaaand post an entry. Unless you’re under 21, then switch Coors Tall Boys with regular Miller High Lifes, the SHAMPAG-NA of beer.
“Who the hell are you and why are you doing this?”
I’m Batman, because I’m f’n awesome.
“I’m a Ravens/Steeler/Bengals fan, can I enter?”
F*@k You.