or "The New Wave of Reverse Psychological Marketing Gimmicks"
It's been so freakin' long. I'm so full of nonsense I can't take it anymore. Put on your goggles and wader
boots, it's gonna get messy, Double Dare Challenge style.
First and foremost, congrats to the 2007 Cleveland Browns on a fantastic season. I haven't had that much fun watching a Cleveland team in a very, very, very (x's infinity) long time. It was a nice warm feeling knowing that we had a chance each week to stay with and defeat our opponents. The last decade or so....not so much.
Unfortunately, it ended with a sputter, and everyone realized how fucking bad Jim Sorgi really is, and how Karma is a total psycho bitch. (Chargers WIN!)
But alas, if you would of told me during preseason that the Browns would end up 10-6 and tied with the Steelers and NOT make the playoffs, I would of kindly suggested the Betty Ford clinic for you, your Grandma, and your siblings.
The MVP award goes to the Browns offensive line. How refreshing. Just plain solid game after game after game. Props to Phil Savage.
The Sandwich award goes to Josh Cribbs. What a game changer indeed. It's been a while since I've eaten in a downtown Cleveland deli, but I really hope someone has named a sandwich after this kid.
Like the "Cribbs Club" or the "Cajun Josh". Something spicy that makes you all giddy with man love, and gives you (and your team) a strategically placed kick in the crotch.
The Dawson Bar. Oh the witty heads at various Chocolaty marketing companies around the sprawling metropolis of the Cleve must have been licking there chops after this one. Phil Dawson single handedly made me: 1. Hide under a table at a crowded bar 2. Pee my pants a little in a moment of sheer jubilation 3. Cry a tear of pride/joy that I gracefully played off as an errant drop of Tabasco sauce to the eye. Thank you Phil, you're a scrapper.
Reverse Psychology. Frankly, I'm a little tired of the win win bologna yeah! marketing ploys created for our beloved home teams.
Yes, it creates a buzz for a time, and maybe a sense of family/ belonging between a team and the fans, and honestly, I don't mean to come across as such a humbug cynic. The bottom line is; they're not working. Witness, believeland, It's tribe time now, May the FORCE be with you (jk), lumberjacks lumberjacks sis boom bah (okay I'm done)
How about no signs or slogans until we win. Cheer your freaking throat out, clap your hands raw, whatever. No signs, or just signs of subtle indifference and reverse psychology.
Like: 'Why Not Us?' or 'Deceiveland' or 'Yipe!' or my favorite; Maybe this year I won't have to say "Maybe
next year".
How are those wader boots holding up kind reader? Here are some quick hits on topics of blazing importance:
Steroids and Baseball? Who cares, shame on everyone for letting it get this bad. Bud Selig has labia for arms.
Cloned Meat? I wonder what new disease this phenomenon will conjure up. Clone Cancer? Spontaneous generation of appendages and limbs? Will foodies be able to tell the difference between the real mignon and Bessy II and her sequels? What happens when you clone a clones clone? Blargh!
The real questions here are why is it 2008 and there are no flying cars? And when can I fight my clone to
the death on the 50 yard line at CBS to the Karate Kid Theme song?