Steve Sirk is an utter moron who has Cosmo Kramered his way into many big league press boxes over the years. He has covered the Columbus Crew of Major League Soccer for the past decade, spent three years covering the NHL's Columbus Blue Jackets, and has even landed a few assignments at Jacobs Field. He was persuaded by OBR bossman Barry McBride to write the decidedly un-journalistic "Cow Patties From Columbus" column for the Orange & Brown Report, which has now expanded to include "Cow Patties: The Blog."